With the coronavirus and quarantines, there’s been quite a bit of social media time for me. There have been some funny meme’s about hand washing, toilet paper, and homeschooling the kids. Yet, this week’s social media sent me for a skid.
Even though I know much of what was posted on social media was meant to be funny or just venting, it still touched a nerve in this grieving mom’s heart. Complaints about handling this time with the kids triggered my grief.
I would do anything to hear my boys fighting, bickering, or breaking something in a brawl. Anything.
This picture of Austin (orange shirt, his fav) and Ethan (with his baby teeth, oh my heart!) was taken just 5 days before Austin died. This picture captured the last day Austin could play with Ethan because he ran a fever the next day. They were being loud and rowdy, running and jumping over the furniture. They were having so much fun, I just had to bust out my camera and snap some pics. Boy, am I glad I did!
As I skimmed through the social media this week, I wondered how many parents lost their patience with their kids for being loud and rowdy? Pondering how many parents missed the joy in seeing their kids together, just in the same room, my heart ached for the chance. My heart ached for Ethan’s loss.
So, I’m writing this blog post to give you 3 things you might not have considered during this coronavirus quarantine:
- Bickering is a blessing!
- Time never turns back.
- Fear only fails.
Bickering is a blessing because it means you have more than one child in your house or car. Many moms don’t. Take a breath and count your blessings.
Time never turns back and you will never again have this time with your kids. Grown or toddlers, they will not be in this season again. Nor will you. Leave no regrets from these few weeks. Enjoy every minute. You may not get many more. There is no guarantee. Soak it up!
Fear only fails because it robs you of joy. Fear stifles fun. Fear is a waste of precious time and energy. Fear accomplishes nothing. It fails to help you in any way.
Your life, the lives of your kids, your loved ones, all belong in the hands of Almighty God. All of your worries cannot add a single hour to your life or your child’s life. Let it go. Put your trust in God and enjoy what is before you each day.
My prayer is that this season of coronavirus is teaching us how to re-connect with our kids. Without school, hurrying from sport to sport, restaurants, or movies, I hope you are having conversations with your kids. Play some games. Teach them something around the house. Do something messy.
And for heaven’s sake, TAKE PICTURES!
If you’re a grieving mom (or you know a grieving mom), click here for a free download of a chapter of my new book, Surviving Sorrow: A Mother’s Guide to Living with Loss. I pray it lifts your spirit during this difficult time.
Also, if you’re feeling a little out of sorts at home with the kids, this is a great song!
Peace to you and yours,
Kim
Having lost a child to an illness and working in healthcare, this virus does have me a bit anxious. I know that God has it all in his hands and I pray that he keeps my family and friends healthy. I pray for comfort and calmness on a regular basis.
Since we have been blessed by being able to help our son-in-law raise our grandson, we truly cherish every moment with him. And,yes, grandma takes a lot of pictures.
Thinking of you, especially this week, Deb!
Kim,
As a stay at home mom of 3 young boys (ages 1, 4, and 6), there are days where the fighting and yelling and aggression gets to be overwhelming. You offer a good reminder to cherish the time we have with our kids, yet some days are just hard. Yes, we need to look at the blessings that are in front of us and recognize that even bickering can be a sign of a blessing. You do offer a hard-earned insight.
But…that doesn’t mean that I need to feel guilty for having multiple kids. It also doesn’t mean that some days aren’t hard or that I don’t need to create and enforce boundaries for both myself and my kids.
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt message.
Agreed, Sarah, on all counts!
Wow! Kim, your message made me cry. A lot. I’ll have you know they were happy tears. I’ve felt isolated in many ways during this time. However, I’ve enjoyed reconnecting with my girls. The laughter, “bickering,” and bonding has been a treasure. Thanks for reminding me to take pictures! Bless you for your words of wisdom.
Hi Katherine, I somehow let it slide by without commenting on this sweet note. I’m so sorry! Thank you for these kinds words and for your support. Much love, Kim