It’s always fun to hear a reader’s response to your blog post, but this reader’s response was so . . . opposite . . . and yet similar. I knew y’all needed to hear it.
Karen Jenks is the co-leader for our Tuesday night Bible study with my church home. She and I make a great team because we are often . . . opposites. I’m bouncing around with too much energy and talking too fast. Karen is peaceful and taking time to really consider her words.
My word for 2020 is EVERYTHING (click to read post). As she read my post and prayed about her word for 2020, she felt the Lord leading her to this word: NOTHING.
Enjoy Karen’s post:
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My word… my word…I’ve been praying and meditating on what my “word” for 2020 should be. As I was reading Kim’s blog about her word being “everything” I kept feeling a surging in me. By the end of her blog, my word popped into my head – it was NOTHING.
NOTHING is what I want to come between me and my Lord.
NOTHING is what I want to value more than I value increased intimacy with God.
NOTHING is what I want to be ruled by other than my King.
God created so many wonderful, useful, pleasant things He wants to bless us with, but they were always meant to be secondary to Him. God was supposed to fill us inwardly and “things” were just an added blessing. But then sin came along and messed it all up – now those blessings, those “things” have taken over. But I can never have any peace if things are my ruler rather than God, if God’s gifts take the place of the Giver. Gifts can be more than just physical things. They can be friends and relatives, special talents. Anything I place above Him comes between us. It hinders my intimacy and communication with Him.
When I think of separation from God, though, it goes beyond even people and things, it goes to my very “self”.
I feel a fierceness, a determination, that NOTHING is to come between me and God, not even my “self”. Sins of my “self” are not something I do but something I am – pride, self-pity, entitlement, laziness, judging, apathy. They are buried so deep I can’t seem them. They’ve been there so long I can’t even recognize them for what they are. Expose them to me, Father. Uproot them. Change me, Holy Spirit. NO EXCUSES.
So here it is – my word. NOTHING. Now what can I do? The first thing I already did was fast. I thought I would symbolically empty myself for Him. I prayed that my sacrifice would be pleasing to Him and that He would see my sincerity.
Next is to not defend or excuse myself in either my own eyes or God’s. I have to bring myself to the cross for judgment and accept what He shows me.
What or who do I cling to as my identity or reason for being? What self-sins do I enable and indulge? I need God to rip it out, rip it from me, even if it makes me bleed. I don’t try to pretend I’m not afraid, I know it will hurt to give up these familiar crutches. But I know I am in tender, loving hands.
I don’t want to change myself, I can’t self-crucify, because then it won’t be real change as only God can do in us. My part is to yield to Him and trust Him.
Father, I want to be face-to-face with You. I need You to uproot in me anything that is blocking that. I know what I ask will cause inward bleeding and pain as “things” that I’ve elevated so long have a privileged place in my heart.
Help me to reject or cast off my SELF-ish sins and ways, even to the point of suffering, because I know there IS suffering in the cross, before ultimate resurrection power and glory.
When there is truly NOTHING between me and God, He can dwell in me with no rival. When nothing owns me, I will be rich beyond measure and my treasures will be in my heart and eternal.
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Karen, thanks for being willing to share a bit of yourself with others. May the glory be God’s alone!
What’s YOUR word for 2020? Here’s a link to a great song and video to allow yourself time to ask God ~ Word of God Speak!