Kim’s Confession & “Raw” Writing

I’ve decided to post a “raw” writing from my prayer time yesterday morning because I think it might help someone else out there, someone who might stumble upon this blog, someone who is like me. It’s not a scandalous confession by this world’s standards, but the conviction seared my heart just the same. I am a follower of Christ, an author of writings that hope to lead others deeper into a relationship with God.

Yet, the words below are what I wrote yesterday after spending time in reflection and prayer. I wonder if you’ll see a glimpse of yourself in my confession. If so, I hope you’ll feel inspired to join me in a commitment to seek Truth each day.

I really dislike letting my rambling writing escape out of the crumpled pages of a journal, but for the sake of more truth, wisdom, and love among the children of God, here goes:

“I’ve been feeling so ‘out of sorts’ lately, an unsettled soul, if you will. The Holy Spirit prompted me, convicted me, of my need for the very Word of God, the actual Scriptures. Not a book, devotional, or Bible study, which is what I’ve been doing lately. I had to go upstairs to the office to pull my Bible off the shelf (Kim!). 

Lord, forgive me! Remind me of this day for the rest of my life, O Lord. Let every day start with Your Word, O God. 

It’s a dangerous habit to replace Your Word with what others would say about You or Your Word! I pray never to fall prey to this trap of the enemy again! 

You led me to Psalm 7 and reminded me of the very real spiritual battle all around us. Then to Proverb 7 about the “adultress” of turning to other things instead of You. I had been lured away in a cunning plan to mascaraed as Your Word with the devotionals, books, and Bible studies as Your wisdom. It/they are NOT – only Your Word is the Wisdom of the Lord, only Your Word holds power to fight the enemy. 

I have been ‘delighting’ myself in many things that are not Your Word! I have been straying down the paths of the things of this world, delighting myself in things enjoyable, easy, comfortable, but no more. No more. No more! 

Holy Spirit help me. Holy Spirit teach me. Holy Spirit fill me. Holy Spirit fight with me. Bring this day to my remembrance. Never again let me set aside time in the actual Scriptures and seeking what You would say to me. Never again let me set aside Your Word for other reading. 

The Word of God is the bread of life and we need it daily. We need to hear from God Himself! Daily! To seek what He would speak to me, to listen to His voice, His heart, to gain His knowledge and wisdom – the type only He can give. Yes, Almight God, yes!

How, o how, did I (of all people), one who has been saved, rescued, loved, woo’d, and comforted by the very Words of God forget this 1 simple fact? How did I forget the power of His Word?

Let it never be so again, dear Lord. Holy Spirit, thank You, for bringing this to my mind and heart today. Thank You for Your patience, presence, perseverance with me, O God. I need You. I need Your Word. Every. Single. Day. My love & my Lord, Jesus.” 

Please read Proverb 7 not in terms of true adultery, but rather in terms of what is leading you away from God each day? What things of this world have you placed higher than God? Are there relationships you’ve pushed into first place in your heart, above your relationship with the Almighty?

Put the Word of God in your mind as your spouse. Now read Proverb 7 again and see if your heart has been an “adultress” by falling into the cunning trap of filling our minds with other things instead of the Holy Scriptures.

Pray with me: Father God, forgive us. Forgive our straying hearts and minds. Help us to stay true to You and Your Word. Lead us each day into our daily bread, the Scriptures. Let us listen to You, to seek You and find You, O God! In the powerful name of Jesus we pray. Amen!