Living With Loss

Ambulances & Photographs…Even Now

March 1, 2018

As we were driving out of our neighborhood the other day, an ambulance roared past. Lights flashing, sirens blaring, racing down the street honking its horn. My breathing stopped, a pain stabbed my heart, panic settled into my mind. “Oh, I hope it’s not a child. Lord, please don’t let it be a child. Oh … Read moreAmbulances & Photographs…Even Now

Desperate for a Glimpse

November 25, 2017

The holidays are here again, and while some are celebrating, others are desperate for just a glimpse of a loved one. As we gathered at my in-laws’ home for Thanksgiving this year, I was keenly aware of our loss. The deep ache of losing our 3-year-old (almost 10 years ago) has not healed with time. … Read moreDesperate for a Glimpse

Wanna Kick the Bucket in 2017?

January 30, 2017

Oh how I wish I had known that we only had 3 years and 10 days with Austin! Yet, as I ponder what it would have been like to know our time was so short, my heart hurts with a still-present physical pain, and in my gut, all of my insides groan with anguish. As our younger son’s birthday approached and he counted the … Read moreWanna Kick the Bucket in 2017?

Do You See Me? He whispered

March 5, 2016

In the quiet stillness of dawn, I sat on a bench. My breath blew puffs of steam over my coffee. The sky was red as the birds sang in the morning. Every now and then something would stir in the lake and ripple the water. As I prayed, divine peace settled over me like the blanket … Read moreDo You See Me? He whispered

Is Your Soul in the “Abode of Silence”?

January 18, 2016

Sometimes life throws us into the “abode of silence.” When unexplainable things happen, it can feel like you are all alone. As a grieving mom, I have come to accept these hours or days when losing Austin is simply too much to bear. There are days when my soul feels like this picture – dark, silent, alone … Read moreIs Your Soul in the “Abode of Silence”?