One of the most stunning things about losing a child is the joy. Joy?! Yes, shouts of joy in fact. How is it possible?
Imagine being lost in a deep, dark cave. You’ve been trying to get out for hours. You have no light, no way to see where to go. You are lost. You have no food or water. It’s cold and uncomfortable. Panic sets in – will you ever get out? You imagine curling up and dying right where you are. You go ahead and slump down to the floor, resigned to your fate…
After a while, a small light appears down a tunnel. It’s tiny, but it shines so bright in the utter blackness. When you see it, you begin shouting for joy. You yell out, “I’m here! I’m here! Do you see me? Don’t leave me here! Come closer!” As the light gets closer, hope and joy lift you off the cold floor. You stand up again. You realize you will not die in that cave. You realize you have been rescued. You shout again, this time smiling, as you begin to see the face of the one who has come to save you.
It’s just like that when you find God in the midst of your grief. It starts tiny, but you can feel something. Hope is nearly unrecognizable, but you recognize the light of the Lord Jesus as your Savior. You’ve been rescued from the pit of grief. A new hope dawns in your heart – maybe you can go on, maybe God will help you get through this. You’ll have scars from scraping around in the dark, but He will lead you back home.
Read Psalm 126 below and see if you can find the blessing of sowing sorrow:
When the Lord brought back the captive ones of Zion,
We were like those who dream.
2 Then our mouth was filled with laughter
And our tongue with joyful shouting;
Then they said among the nations,
“The Lord has done great things for them.”
3 The Lord has done great things for us;
We are glad.
4 Restore our captivity, O Lord,
As the streams in the South.
5 Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting.
6 He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed,
Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.
Not only does the Lord promise to never leave us or forsake us, but here He promises to restore our joy, bring forth some kind of harvest from our sorrow.
Are you sowing in tears? Does your life seem to be filled with sorrow? Are you doing your work, but weeping as you go (maybe even silently, so no one notices)?
Write this passage down. Remember that God can restore you and do great things through your sorrow. Know that God is watching you going to and fro, weeping. Know that He is waiting to give you a shout of joy and a harvest of something good.
Sow your sorrow, my friend, sow your tears. Let out the pain, bitterness, regrets, and anger so that the Lord can bring back your joy. Trust that God can use your sorrow for a great harvest, for many beautiful and bountiful things. A harvest from your sorrow that is so unexpected, you shout with joy!
Remember this: it takes a looooong time from planting season to harvest season. Be patient with yourself. Take care of yourself. Talk to God. Sow your sorrow. Wait for the joy. It will start like a small shoot from the dark earth, but it will come.
Blessings of peace to you and yours,