loss
In the quiet stillness of dawn, I sat on a bench. My breath blew puffs of steam over my coffee. The sky was red as the birds sang in the morning. Every now and then something would stir in the lake and ripple the water. As I prayed, divine peace settled over me like the blanket … Read more
Sometimes life throws us into the “abode of silence.” When unexplainable things happen, it can feel like you are all alone. As a grieving mom, I have come to accept these hours or days when losing Austin is simply too much to bear. There are days when my soul feels like this picture – dark, silent, alone … Read more
We were traveling through farm country when these huge windmills popped up on the horizon. As we drew closer, we realized that the windmills were HUGE! The windmills, along with the vast open fields rolling with corn, made me feel small. Very small. God also felt big. Very big ~ and a bit a far … Read more
This picture was taken when Devin and I packed an 18-month-old Ethan into our car and “ran away from home.” About 6 months after Austin died, we desperately needed time off work. We ran away. Literally. We had no idea where we were going. We had no plans, no GPS system, no hotel reservations, no agenda. We … Read more
The coffee bin in this picture is not quite right. The lid that is supposed to keep our coffee air tight doesn’t quite get the job done. Why don’t I buy a new one? Because … before Austin died, he snuck this item into the grocery cart one day. When I asked him about it, … Read more
This picture is our son, Ethan, during the summer when he was five. You can’t tell by the picture how high he is, but let this Mom tell you that my heart was racing. It was a little bit dangerous. But…I let him climb. And…I prayed. Since we lost Austin to something as mundane as strep … Read more
This is Austin Lee the day before his 3rd birthday. He picked out his birthday cake and made it mostly by himself…cracking the eggs and everything! I helped a little, of course, but he really tackled it. He was way too mature for his age. I am grateful now for his maturity because it allowed us to … Read more
This is a picture of me being goofy at our family reunion last summer. The question I get asked most often is, “how do you do it?” You see, at this reunion we would be missing my brother, Jeff, who died in a car accident in 1989, when he was 23. And, more recently, in 2008, … Read more