Each new year, instead of resolutions, I pray about one word to guide the year. This year’s word was eye-opening. I couldn’t believe this word kept popping up as my 2020 guide. This word was humbling and frustrating.
My word for 2020 is EVERYTHING. Period. End. of Discussion. Everything in 2020.
Why is the word “everything” eye-opening, humbling, and frustrating? Because last year’s word was “humble” and boy did the Lord humble me in 2019. He gave me many opportunities to be humble before Him and others. Because I thought 2019’s “humble” was a final year to place everything I do at the foot of the cross, to stay bowed, face-down at the foot of the Almighty’s throne. I wanted to reach a place where “me” didn’t matter so much. I prayed 2019 and “humble” would represent a completion of sorts in my faith journey.
Nope. Apparently not. 2019 was a good, humbling year. I did experience growth by focusing on humility.
Yet, as I sat in reflection and prayer these past few weeks, the Holy Spirit pointed out several areas of myself and my life that I still tried to control, will into fruition, or ignore in rebellion to His promptings.
How our household would run, my son, my husband, my marriage, our day-to-day… I want to… Control.
That finances would begin to flow again, that businesses would “take off,” that efforts would succeed … I will… Rely on Self.
Serving outside church can wait until we’re not so busy, the blogging (ahem…) and writing aren’t as important as the new businesses that can earn money for my family, praying together as a family will magically appear through my husband or my son… I’m scared, afraid to push… No, thank you. I’ll do things my way…Rebellion.
As I prayed for my new year’s word, I felt the Holy Spirit guiding me to the mirror, not for a quick-look, but a stripped-down, deep ponder of what remained, gazing back at me. Her defiant chin still tilted upwards. Her eyes still haughty, challenging. Her doubts covered up by bravado. Her desires, her wants.
Whispers of the King, “Everything under heaven belongs to me (Job 41:11).”
Gentle demands from my Lord and Savior, “I gave everything to save you. Yet, you would withhold these things from me?”
EVERYTHING in 2020. There’s more to be learned while bowing down at His throne this year. More humble surrender is required. More of myself, my deepest places in my heart, must be exposed and lifted up for the Lord to use and change. Everything I have to give: mind, body, and soul. All of my heart for His Kingdom. Not mine.
Everything in my life surrendered to His will, not mine (Luke 22:41-43).
I pray the angels will strengthen me as they did Jesus when He prayed this prayer. I’m gonna need it!
Yet, I believe there is no greater peace than to be fully surrendered to the Lord our God.
Do you have a spiritual growth resolution for 2020? What area of your faith journey needs a boost this new year? Were any of your New Year’s resolutions eye-opening?